Grappling with rejection as a writer

As writers, we’re often told to write what we know. That’s why I wrote about a feeling many of us writers know all too well – how it feels to have your work rejected. How demotivating it can be. In fact, I wrote that feeling into a character, and wrote that character into a book - The Lamplighter’s Bookshop. But now we’re skipping ahead to the end of the story, so let’s start where it all began.

With rejection after rejection.

It’s startling how much power one simple rejection can have, and how it can often send us inside ourselves, picking apart all of the confidence in our craft we’ve been working so hard to build.
 
Speak to any writer, and they’ll likely have a story about rejection – in fact, they’ll probably have multiple stories. I took a strange (though arguably very therapeutic) approach to the rejections I was amassing, however – and wrote all of my gnawing worries into William Morton: a flailing writer with a desperate dream of becoming an author.

But of course it wasn’t just his dream. It was my dream.
 
Like William Morton, I’d been incredibly hopeful when my agent and I went on submission with my first finished manuscript. When that was consigned to the slush pile, I told myself 'very few writers get a book deal on their first ever book. Let’s keep going.' 

Fast forward a year and a half, and my agent and I were ready again. I’d done my research. I’d written draft after draft after draft. I’d edited it until I believed every word on the page glimmered and shone. But like William – all I saw was rejection after rejection. My book wasn’t commercial enough – it wouldn’t have a big enough audience – the period of history I had chosen (Ireland under the rule of Queen Elizabeth I) wasn’t popular enough. But by the time we’d gone on submission for this novel (the editing process is a long one, after all) I’d already written a third manuscript, also set in 1599. I asked my lovely agent, Caroline, whether it was worth sending this out on submission, too – and she, very kindly, told me no. That it was time to write something new. Explore something new.

Though I’m sure I gave Caroline a very chipper 'sounds great!' on the phone (I’m British, after all) I was crushed. The prospect of going back to the drawing board was utterly overwhelming. I found myself struggling to write. Struggling to find inspiration. I was paralysed by the prospect of pouring my heart and soul into yet another project, and seeing it rejected. 

I existed in this limbo for about a month, until I realised that the choice that lay before me was very simple: either I gave up on my dream and quit writing altogether, or I went back to writing again, with a new goal.

I’d started writing for the sheer fun of it, and somewhere between the editing process, submissions, and frantically refreshing my email inbox I’d forgotten all about that. So instead of worrying about what I couldn’t control (e.g. what is 'hot' in the publishing industry), I focussed instead on something I had complete control over: writing something I loved – and that I would love, even if no-one else did.

The book I wrote was The Lamplighter’s Bookshop – and I wrote it just for me. I wasn’t focussed on whether it would (or could) ever be published. Instead I focussed on finding joy in the craft of writing again – in being playful with words, and characters, and scenes.

I wanted a scene in a grand ballroom? I wrote a scene in a grand ballroom. I wanted a sharp-tongued matriarch? I created the indomitable Aunt Clara. I wrote about some of my fears, some of my dreams (although William’s approach to rejection and mine are slightly different…!) But mostly I wrote because I cannot imagine a world in which I don’t write. Instead of setting my sights on becoming an author, I instead focussed on being a writer. A writer who writes every day. A writer who writes for herself. A writer who writes, even if no-one will read it.
 
Of course you know the ending to this story. I found an incredible home for The Lamplighter’s Bookshop at HarperFiction – and it’s published this year. But for me this book represents a promise I made to myself as a writer that no matter what happened, I would keep writing. 

And that is the best advice I can give to you, if you find yourself in the same tailspin I did. Find the joy in your writing again, and don’t give up.

The Lamplighter's Bookshop by Sophie Austin is published by HarperColllins 

Getting work rejected is part of the writing life – but there are strategies to turn rejection into acceptance and you can read about them here.
 

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